You will either be the master of your mind, or you will always be a slave to your own mental impulses.

A man is at a bar. His friend offers him a shot of tequila. A part of him says yes. A part of him says no. What to do? A woman is at a gas station. She sees cigarettes behind the counter. A part of her says yes. A part of her says no. What to do?

Today I want to talk about personal responsibility. I will start with my own personal definition of responsibility. Then you can say yes or no however you see fit.

Responsibility is the ability to respond in a way that really works. That’s it.

It’s not what you should do, it’s not what you are told to do, it’s not your duty or obligation to do. It is simply the ability to respond in a way that really works. What really works? That is for you alone to judge. So how do we know what does and doesn’t work? How do we know when to say yes and when to say no?

Many years ago, while teaching my daughter to drive, we were talking about being responsible. I was preaching all kinds of brilliant theoretical bullshit about how to make good decisions. Finally she interrupted me. She said “Daddy it doesn’t work that way. Most people don’t analyze everything like that.”

I said “You’re right, Honey. They don’t. So when you come to a stop sign, how do you know which way to turn?”

“Well that’s easy” she replied “I’ve already decided where I’m go...ohhh! If I already know where I am going, then I know which way to turn!”

Exactly. When we have already decided what will be our way, or in other words, what is truly most important to us, then it is simply a matter of figuring how to stay on course. When to turn right. When to turn left. When to say yes. When to say no.

And whenever we have not decided, or whenever we have forgotten what is truly most important, then any way will do. Then we have given up the helm. We have given up control. We have let go of the reigns. We have decided to be in the passenger seat rather than the driver’s seat.

Listen…

No matter what it is you are suffering through, although you may not fully understand or believe it yet, today I am telling you the surest way through all your suffering is to simply be in reality and develop the value of your word. Not the power of your will.

Why? Because your word is the only thing that can always be honoured and held above:

A) Your constantly conflicting thoughts.

B) Your ever-changing feelings.

C) Your unpredictable circumstances.

Think of it like this. You and your employer have an agreement. For example, you will provide 40 hours of widget building, your employer will pay you $20 for every hour of widget building. What happens to the agreement if you say “I don’t think I’ll build any widgets this week.” Or your employer says “I only feel like paying you for 5 hours even though you did 40.”

The agreement falls apart. That’s because the only thing keeping it together is that you have both agreed to hold your word above your thoughts and feelings.

This is integrity 101. And nothing works without integrity.

So what does this have to do with being the master of your mind? Well, now you’ve gotta ask yourself. “Who is in command?”

Are you able to consistently direct your thoughts, feelings and behaviour in a way that really works? Or are you still just caught in the whirlwind of your mind’s unbridled mental impulses?

Do you want to remain a victim of your fears and desires, or do you really want control? Do you want to be the master of your mind, or do you want your mind to master you?

Here is how to become the master…

Practice honouring your word.

Like it or not, your words are the agreement between your mind, your body and the universe for how your life will be.